I think we all need to express our feelings more

I awake, and immediately, the wonderful peace of my dreams is flooded with worry, doubt, fear, grief as I desperately try to remember my dreams, clutch at some meaning, clutch at a message that I have done something wrong (what have I done wrong this time?) clutch at some message amongst that lovely calm, floating sea of pale misty green and blue that was my last two night's dream healing, that can give me help with this terrible (no the guides or my subconscious  says I must CELEBRATE the changes that are happening in my life) state of affairs - I am terrified, guilty, afraid, worried, and desperately want to do the right thing for me and everyone.

But the more I clutch at straws and words carefully chosen to try and do this, the more I feel I am ruining my entire life.

Is it such a crime to write this?

Is it such a crime to express my feelings publicly? 

Are we living in Victoriana?

In the days not so long ago of myspace and msn messenger, when we were in school, lots of us expressed our teenage angst.

So what has changed?

Does the adult world of work have to be a world where feelings do not exist, a world of solitary, automaton worker bees that soldier on regardless, never questioning their reality?

I really have noticed facebook change the expression of our feelings. The more popular facebook has become, the more friends added to our lists (as more and more distant contacts eg. work colleagues added us to their lists) so status updates began to be more insipid, fleeting, business related, fleeting, and blatant cover ups of the anguish that many of us must secretly feel.

Of course I hope that you all are able to express this anguish with a loved one, a close one, someone you really trust.

Well in some ways, I cannot. Or maybe I simply enjoy expressing my feelings publicly. I get off on it. Just like I used to enjoy doing other things publicly but sadly those days may be gone forever..

I feel that the structure of our society has a flaw - the inexpression of our deepest love, anguish, fear, even desire. The older we get, (particularly perhaps if we get married or work in a high powered job, move in upper circles?) the more we live in stiff, stiff upper lipped, everything is fine, blatant lies, feelings do not exist Victoriana.

And if we deny our feelings totally, or lose touch with them as I have for the past few years, depression, anger, a lack of touch with the very soul can ensue and we become robots.